Welcome to the Party!

You're invited to the party! So come on in! Well, not a real party. Sorry if I got your hopes up. I am referring to the party of goals. In this case the party is the ultimate goal and the person hosting the party is the goal-getter. Still confused? Allow me to explain.

I do a lot of things in the kitchen. I cook, bake, clean, sweep, wash dishes, etc. You know, all the things one does in a kitchen. I came to the realization today that I do a lot of my thinking while in the kitchen. I especially do it a lot while washing dishes. Usually no one is talking to me so as the water is running my mind begins to wander and I start to think about things. Anyways, today one of my friends mentioned how he felt as if he was in a rut. I didn't comment on the situation at the time but I suppose this is my comment to his dilemma. I too, recently stressed to a couple of people that I talk to on a regular basis that I felt as if I was stuck or in a rut. Why was I feeling stuck though? What was I stuck on? Well in this particular situation I felt that I was just "spinning my wheels" when it came to my clothing company. After talking it out with these two people, I came to the realization that I wasn't really stuck. I actually had the answers right inside of me but my problem was taking action. So what does this have to do with a party? I'll tell you.

I wanted to start a clothing line since forever. I knew that I needed to JUST DO IT but back then, before I started anything, I felt like I was stuck. Once I got the ball rolling my momentum began to build. I was now "invited" to the party. I was given an invitation but I still had to decide whether to go or not. As momentum began to build, I began planning and executing what I would do to start a clothing line. I decided the best way for me to start was to design one t-shirt and market it to people I think would find it interesting. The only way to get one of the shirts was to pre-order it. So in a sense, I was now in the car and on my way to the party. I set a deadline and orders came in until the deadline. I made a connection with a printer and ordered some tee's and away we went. Over the next couple of months this is how I orchestrated my business. I offered a shirt and people had to pre-order it and it was then shipped to them when it was finished. Now if I was at the party I would be considered just a spectator. I'm not socializing much. Basically just being a wallflower.

Now in my mind my ultimate goal is to be the hostess of the party. I want to be the one who invites others to come over. I want to be the one who organizes the event. At the moment though, I just feel like one of the people mingling. I am socializing a bit but I am just part of the crowd. Now how do I go from just being part of the party to being the party? That's is where planning comes in as well as executing. I planned, although not the best, but was able to execute my moves in order to get the ball rolling. If there are steps to take then I should never really feel stuck. If at anytime I feel stuck I think it's because I am failing to execute plans or I have no plans to be directed by. Opportunity occurs when you take the necessary steps to set up the chance of embracing what you are after. I believe people only feel stuck because they want to achieve something. Whether they know it or not the feeling of "wheels spinning" happens because you want to achieve something more. Isn't that what a part of living life is about? Setting goals and reaching them only to strive to want more. Life would be pretty boring if we weren't looking for better, don't you think?

Many people that I am inspired by would be the hosts of the parties I want to attend. I am enjoying the company at their party but I want to be more than just the socializer. I'm really trying to have them at my party and inviting new people to my party. While being at others parties I take notes. I take notes on how to have a successful party. I take notes on what kind of work goes into putting on a well put together gathering. This is my planning. This is where I learn while I patiently execute my brand to be one of better known, sought-after companies.

So where are you at the party? Have you been invited yet? Are you still wishing you were invited to the party? Where do you fit in at the party? Are you the life of the party? Are you blending in with the crowd?

As Will Smith said in the movie Pursuit of Happyness, "If you got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can't do it. If you want something, GO GET IT! Period!"

Following a passion/dream

Yesterday on Twitter, I woke up to this quote that Mr. James T. Smith a.k.a. LL Cool J posted:

The greatest danger for a lot of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it but that it is too low and we reach it.

WOW! How powerful are those words?! How many of us set such simple goals to achieve because we truly don't believe or trust in ourselves completely? One we do reach that goal we feel accomplished yet we really haven't made any REAL progress. This quote is so moving to me. I can not stop think about it. It's so real. I have always said that there are two types of people on this world. There are the one's who follow what others say and achieve what others only believe is achievable. Then there is the person who dreams and believes that anything is achievable and going beyond what others try to stop them at achieving. Make sense? Sure it does. I'll explain in a real-life example.

When I was younger, about 11 years old, I developed a love of clothing. I would go to different stores, mainly the BX on the Air Force base, and look at all the new clothes. Every week I would ask my mother if she could purchase this or that for me because I "had to have it"! There was the burgundy jeans, the plain-front khakis, the Fila coat, the Nike Air Jordan tee, etc. that I had to have. I was so intrigued by fashion already that I decided that I wanted to be a clothing designer. I began telling people my dream. I got some positive encouragement but what I really remembered was the negative comments. The worst one that I heard more than once was that designers were "gay". Not all designers just male designers. Well, going from a child to an adolescent, fitting in is what we do. Well I don't want to be considered gay especially while making new friends and trying to be cool. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against gay people but as an adolscent young man, being gay will not go over well.

So years passed and I filed that dream in the archives of my brain. My first job I took was at a clothing store. I still loved clothes even though my dream had been set aside. I used to get into trouble because my father wanted me to save my money but every week I had to have something new still. As I went through high school I always got compliments on my style and clothing. Still in my mind I knew I loved clothes. One year in high school, we went on a trip to NYC to visit F.I.T. (Fashion Institute of Technology). I loved it there! I thought that I definitely should go there. As my senior year began and I had to seriously start thinking of college I did think about F.I.T. But what I remembered was that there was mostly only girls at the school (That should have definitely encouraged me to go). Again, the words of people saying designers were only gay began to speak in my mind. So I didn't choose to go there or even enroll in anything that had to do with fashion whatsoever.

I completed my college career knowing that I wanted to be some sort of entrepreneur. But what? Real estate? Investing? Franchising? My mind always seemed to focus on clothing. Well maybe I should open a clothing store. Well I don't really have the finances or the perfect credit to do so so that is out of the question. So I continued to work in clothing stores. See a pattern here. Finally, I moved from Boston to San Antonio and that is where I really found myself. I realized who cares what people think. There are only two kinds of people in this world when it comes to achieving goals and dreams. I already knew that I wasn't the one who could spend all my time climbing a corporate ladder. How could I spend the next 45ish years working for someone else, day in and day out, helping build someone else's dream while I have a life of my own and could build my own.

It took me a few years to figure out the best name for my company, J. Benjamin Clothing but it was worth the wait. One of my biggest fears was actually taking the risk to start. How can I finance this? What if people don't even like what I do? What if it takes too long? What if I fail? How will I ever know the answers to those questions if I never try. So I began designing. I began the first few steps to what I have always dreamed of. I am still at the very beginning stages of where I plan to be but I have never felt so much excitement and happiness by trying to do what I was meant to do.

Do you have dreams and goals? I bet you there have been many people who laughed at them or even said there is no way that could happen. How do they know that? Those are the people who follow the simple path of what they think life is supposed to be about. They don't want to put in the hard work of achieving great success. They may overcome a few obstacles but once there becomes too many or there is one too big they give up. Why give up? Because it's the easiest thing to do. Give up, go back to what you already know and keep doing the same old thing. Instead of trying to figure out a new avenue to overcome the obstacle retreating to what is comfortable is what most people do. Now I ask you again, do you have dreams and goals? Are you truly going after them or are your waiting for someday? Has there been enough people to tell you that your goal is just a dream? Well it is to them because they know that the comfortable way works. It gives you a paycheck. Does that paycheck even make you happy though? Probably not. It's not too late to go after what your heart desires. It may be harder to get there but chasing a dream never expires. I encourage all of you to go after what your heart wants. Start by making little goals for yourself. Once you achieve those little goals, make new little goals. Keep going until you actually realize your dream. I bet once you actually obtain it you will have newer dreams that will need newer goals to achieve.

You are the only one holding yourself back from achieving your dream! Lets start today together and I will see you at the top!